hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
