Absence makes the cock grow harder.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
