There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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