Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
