It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish I only lived at night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
