I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
