I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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