So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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