he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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