your parents love me but you hate me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
