So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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