I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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