so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
