I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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