One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
