brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
