I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
