i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
