Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
