He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
