Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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