"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
