Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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