Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
