College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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