He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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