You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
