I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
