Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
