Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
