i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
