just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There r osticjed everywhere
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
