I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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