How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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