We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
