Sober January is a disaster.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
