Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
