im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
