It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
