So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
