so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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