Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He did a backflip because drugs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
