i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
