You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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