Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
