I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
