Fuck appropriateness.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
