Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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