he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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