That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What a dumb baby whore.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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