why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The best revenge is premature balding
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
