the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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