Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
